When Should You Take Over Your Elderly Loved One’s Finances?
As the cost of retirement homes, assisted living and other senior care continues to escalate, more and more American seniors are choosing to live with their children, often in a “mother-in-law’s apartment” on a separate level. The Pew Research Center estimated in 2023 that as many as one in four persons over the age of 65 lived in a multigenerational home.
Though many originally live independently in the same home and handle their own finances, in most situations, the aging parents will reach a point when managing their own money, bills and expenses becomes problematic. As a younger caregiver, what signs should you look for that your parent or other aging loved one needs oversight or simply needs you to take over their financial affairs?
Unopened Mail—Often the First Indication
One of the most common signs that an aging parent may not be paying attention to financial affairs is a stack of unopened mail. Sure, some of it may be junk mail that simply hasn’t been thrown away. But often, when people start to struggle with either understanding or remembering things, they choose simple to ignore them (usually telling themselves they’ll “get to that tomorrow”). If your loved one has bank statements that have not been opened, chances are good that they have little or no understanding of how much they have in their accounts. If you notice unopened mail, collect it and sit down with your loved one, going through it all to make certain there are no late notices or collection letters. This may also be the time to either get the log-in for your elderly parent’s online banking or set them up with online access, so that you can monitor their account as well.
Missed Payments
In the best-case-scenario, you’ll discover this when your loved one gets a reminder, a late notice or a collection call. Occasionally, though, you’ll learn that bills have not been paid when services are temporarily interrupted or you discover that your loved one’s auto insurance has lapsed when they are subjected to a traffic stop.
For any bills that affect the entire household, such as utilities or mortgage, you can set up a spreadsheet, so that you have a record of when the payments are due and if they have been made. For wholly personal expenses, you may face challenges, as your loved one can often feel as if both privacy and independence are being threatened.
Overdrawn Accounts
When loved ones stop opening their mail, particularly bank statements, overdrafts often follow. The earlier you have access to their accounts, the better.
